She's touching him. People don't just touch Carter. He stares at the hand on his arm. It's pale and white and the nails are smaller and more delicate than the nails on his own hand.
Lily is so nice. She's probably the nicest girl he's ever met in real life in his entire life, and Carter sucks in a breath as tears well up in his eyes. And she offered to make him family.]
Oh, jeeze.
[He wipes at his eyes. He's a fucking crying baby, but he can't help it. He's feeling so kindly towards Lily that if he looks in her eyes now, he knows he'll send her into a coma. But he doesn't mind. Carter would do it now and watch her body for hours, just as a favour.
He reaches up and covers her hand with his own for a second, staring at the ground and feeling tenderness in him. He has to be careful now not to bliss her out. Avoid her eyes. Stay a little disengaged. Carter drops his hand.
It's too hard, though. He has to disengage. Carter tries to think of something distressing. Killing. Death. Kids starving in Africa.]
I need a second.
[His voice is strangled.
Kids starving in Africa. Villages drinking dirty water. Seagulls eating trashbags. Birds with broken wings. Dead dogs. Carter stares at the wall and tries to think of unpleasant things, because if he looks at Lily right now? Game over. She's too nice. It was too risky meeting her in person.]
no subject
She's touching him. People don't just touch Carter. He stares at the hand on his arm. It's pale and white and the nails are smaller and more delicate than the nails on his own hand.
Lily is so nice. She's probably the nicest girl he's ever met in real life in his entire life, and Carter sucks in a breath as tears well up in his eyes. And she offered to make him family.]
Oh, jeeze.
[He wipes at his eyes. He's a fucking crying baby, but he can't help it. He's feeling so kindly towards Lily that if he looks in her eyes now, he knows he'll send her into a coma. But he doesn't mind. Carter would do it now and watch her body for hours, just as a favour.
He reaches up and covers her hand with his own for a second, staring at the ground and feeling tenderness in him. He has to be careful now not to bliss her out. Avoid her eyes. Stay a little disengaged. Carter drops his hand.
It's too hard, though. He has to disengage. Carter tries to think of something distressing. Killing. Death. Kids starving in Africa.]
I need a second.
[His voice is strangled.
Kids starving in Africa. Villages drinking dirty water. Seagulls eating trashbags. Birds with broken wings. Dead dogs. Carter stares at the wall and tries to think of unpleasant things, because if he looks at Lily right now? Game over. She's too nice. It was too risky meeting her in person.]