recommence | 001: [Video]

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001: [Video]

[Carter turns the camera on and it broadcasts. He doesn't know it's doing this, as he thinks he's just filming a video of himself.]

Entry one. Title: This Place is Fucked Up. Did I mention it's fucked up? Exhibit A, the bathroom--

[Carter swings the camera around and shows the bathroom, which has a wall of shrunken heads. Their eyes roll and they cackle when they see the camera. Carter backs out of the bathroom and closes the door.]

Can you believe that? My door is unlocked, too. What amateur kidnappers. Where's Reefs? He's gonna kill all of you. He's a hard motherfucker. Anytime now. Hey, do you see that?

[The camera flips around to show a Nameless, its mouth stitched shut and carrying a stack of laundry. It passes by the open door to Carter's suite. The teen gasps audibly.]

That guy had a sewn mouth! What the fuck! What the fuck! That is some fucked up Somali-pirate shit!

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That's okay! I'll be right there.

[Lily hangs up. She pauses to make sure her sling is snug (and to spend a few minutes trying to put shoes on with one hand, which she quickly finds is not easy), then jogs all the way up to deck 4. She finds room 426 easily and knock-knock-knocks on the door.]

Carrr-ter? It's Lily!

[Carter went to the bathroom in the meantime, washed his hands and face and tried to ignore the cackling heads on the wall. This was reality. He needed to accept reality. He was on a ship with a lot of powered people, and he was going to have to survive. No handlers meant no rules.

So this was like prison, right? He had to be tough.

Carter felt ill.

He cupped his hands beneath the sink and drank a few handfuls of water until he heard a knock on the door and a familiar voice. Lily!]

Coming!

[Carter dries his hands on the legs of his pants and walks over too quickly. He tempers his enthusiasm and sets his eyes down. Be calm. No blissouts. Just be neutral and turn your feelings off.

Carter opens the door and smiles, avoiding eye contact.]

Hey. Uh, I'm gonna act a little distant? I don't get the feeling it's safe to sleep in the halls here.

[Lily blinks, tilting her head in confusion like a puppy. Sleep in the halls? Why would anyone do that? Maybe people slept in the hall where Carter comes from. Wouldn't be the weirdest thing Lily's ever heard.]

Sleep in the halls?

[She doesn't get it.]

If I look you in the eyes too much or see your face too much, or if you're too nice, I might make you go to, uh, something like sleep.

[He doesn't want to explain the blissouts.]

Pretend you're showing a group around. Don't look at me too much, talk to the air. It's weird, I know. I can't turn my healing comas off, basically.

[He winces.]

Oh.

[He can make people sleep? Weird. Lily frowns, brushing hair behind her ear. She doesn't know if she can just... treat him like a group. He sounds so lonely. And awkward.]

[She's just gonna be nice anyway.]

Uh, okay! So, um... deck 4 and 5 are residential. [She learned that word from her reading!] I'm on deck 5 in room 522 if you ever wanna visit! Oh, I'm in the library a lot, too. The library is great! It's really big, and it has books on, like, everything. I've been researching my dad's-- [This is off-topic.] Nevermind. Uh! On the top deck, there's a golf course, and there's an infirmary on deck 3...

[He takes a few glances at her out of the corner of his eye while she's not looking. She's blonde, pretty, and younger than him. She acts older than her age, he guesses. Girls are like that.

Carter stuffs his hands in his pockets and follows her, rubbernecking at all the sights.

The mention of her dad--]

You have a dad?

[He's never met another special kid with actual parents.]

[Well, he's not wrong. Lily, quite literally, has no parents. She wasn't born, she was farmed.]

Kind of! It's a really, reeeally long story. [Nearly three years long. Hell, she's never told the whole story before...] He's, um... not here right now. Not dead. Just... not here.

[Lily glances up at Carter.]

Do you have a family?

[Carter shakes his head tersely and risks a look up at her from under his hair.]

No, I just had handlers. You know, like other special kids. 'Cause we're too important to be wasted, that kinda crap.

[His eyes are very cold and empty. He know damn well he's just a tool to his government. He glances at Lily, and some warmth comes back.]

Just handlers. But you have a dad, that's great! I'm sure he'll come back.

[He flashes her a smile, then looks down at the floor again and wills himself to feel more neutrally. ]

[Handlers. Lily fucking hates that word. The scientists back home, they were "handlers," like she was a goddamn animal. Her heart goes out to Carter, having experienced something, uh, similar to what she did.]

[At least she had her brothers and sisters back home. Sounds to her like Carter has nobody.]

[She brightens.]

I can be your family, then! I have a brother here, he's great... And I have my friend Mimmi, and Oogway, and Ben, and Geralt, and Link... They're all great! You'll love them.

[She's offering to be his family? She barely knows him. It's remarkably kind, and he looks up in surprise to see if she's serious. Her face says she is, and automatically his eyes look at hers. She's got red eyes, bright red. They stick in his mind and that's a problem because the easier he can picture her, the easier he can target her with his powers, the closer they both get to a slipup.

But he can't help but smile. That's a long list of names. ]

I'll know them over the videos. Is this place your home?

[Carter's brow furrows as he speaks to his runners, consciously not looking at Lily.]

Are there--

[He scratches his forehead. Carter just can't understand it.]

--Really no handlers here? Except the crew?

Yes! This is my home now. Before this I was on an island, and before that I was on another boat, and before that I was, um... I dunno where I was, exactly. That's not important.

[It's incredibly important! But not now. She stops walking and turns to him fully.]

Can you explain this whole "handler" thing to me?

Handlers are--I guess not, if you don't know. You're supposed to be with a handler whenever your door's unlocked. They tell you--a lot of stuff. They tell you what matters and what you have to do. They protect you, too, I guess. You just do what they say.

[He leaves off the 'or else' and again, avoids her eye contact. She's definitely older than she looks. ]

If someone who calls themselves a handler shows up, uh, don't trust them. What they say is never what's really going on.

...

[...]

Are you fucking kidding me?

[That sounds like the absolute worst. There was a time when Lily would blindly believe everything she was told, but that was several years ago. She quickly learned that nothing was ever as it seemed, and there would always be someone around to explain any incidents.]

[What they said was rarely the whole truth.]

[Lily sighs, smiles, and reaches out tentatively to touch Carter's arm with her good hand.]

You're never gonna have to listen to a handler again. Ever. You're free.

[She's touching him.

She's touching him. People don't just touch Carter. He stares at the hand on his arm. It's pale and white and the nails are smaller and more delicate than the nails on his own hand.

Lily is so nice. She's probably the nicest girl he's ever met in real life in his entire life, and Carter sucks in a breath as tears well up in his eyes. And she offered to make him family.]

Oh, jeeze.

[He wipes at his eyes. He's a fucking crying baby, but he can't help it. He's feeling so kindly towards Lily that if he looks in her eyes now, he knows he'll send her into a coma. But he doesn't mind. Carter would do it now and watch her body for hours, just as a favour.

He reaches up and covers her hand with his own for a second, staring at the ground and feeling tenderness in him. He has to be careful now not to bliss her out. Avoid her eyes. Stay a little disengaged. Carter drops his hand.

It's too hard, though. He has to disengage. Carter tries to think of something distressing. Killing. Death. Kids starving in Africa.]

I need a second.

[His voice is strangled.

Kids starving in Africa. Villages drinking dirty water. Seagulls eating trashbags. Birds with broken wings. Dead dogs. Carter stares at the wall and tries to think of unpleasant things, because if he looks at Lily right now? Game over. She's too nice. It was too risky meeting her in person.]

[Oh holy shit he's crying. Was it something she said? Of course it's something she said. Are these happy tears? They'd better be. They look happy. When Lily fully understood that she was free, she cried, too. She cried a lot. It was the best feeling in the world. No more murder and mayhem. Just Lily, her little family, and a magic cruise ship.]

[She waits patiently for him to gather himself.]

Um, do you want a hug? I still have an arm that works.

No, just something in my eye.

[He jokes, but he's half-serious, wishing she would accept the idea that he's not weak. He doesn't want to cry in front of anyone, let alone a strange girl he just met, but maybe Carter's just feeling a little overwhelmed with the prospect of freedom? Of family? It's a lot to take in. It's a big change.

He blinks hard a few times and wipes at his eyes again, and finally glances at Lily askance for a second, then back at the wall. He smiles at the wall, pretending he's facing her.]

Nah, I'd put you in a coma if you gave me a hug. But I can fix your arm if you want. I'd be a lousy resplendent if I couldn't.

[She can't even hug him? Hugs are what give Lily life. They're so cozy! But she doesn't want to go into a coma, so she just smiles and nods, glancing down at her arm.]

Oh! Yeah! Please. It's getting really annoying.

[She shrugs off her sling, lets it drop to the floor, and starts to unroll the bandages around her arm. Lily heals on her own, so the medic didn't wrap her up too tight. Steam leaks from her wounds as the bandages fall away.]

I got in a fight this morning.

[Her arm is fucking mangled. The worst wounds have been sewn up, but the smaller ones were just cleaned and left alone.]

It's not too bad.

Edited 2014-11-09 22:27 (UTC)

[Carter stares at the wall, waiting patiently. The tears are gone, because he knows exactly what to do and how he can do it. Healing something as simple as a broken arm is child's play to him. Literally, something he did in hospitals as a child (beneath the watchful eye of his handler, of course). He can heal a broken--

Carter yelps when he glances over and sees Lily's mangled arm. He quickly looks to the wall again, eyes wide.]

Not too bad?! What happened? Did you fight a bear or something? Jesus, is there any shrapnel in it? Nevermind, I'll fix it.

[A healing coma would fix her arm easily right now, but wouldn't it be more heroic and awesome if he showed enough self control to do it without knocking her out? Carter wants to try. So instead of doing the smart thing, Carter decides to try and heal Lily right then and there, in the hall. He is truly a teenaged boy. He gropes blindly sideways as he looks at the wall for her arm and picks it up by her fingertip and elbow.]

What happened? It helps if I know.

[Lily winces just a bit at his touch. The throbbing pain in her arm has subsided--that's always the first thing to heal--but moving it still aches just a tad.]

I fought a leopard, actually. But I did fight a bear once. [That was an experience.] It was a were-leopard, and apparently he gets, like... murderous, when the moon's full. He got my arm pretty bad, but I punched him in the face. Then my friend Ben came in and ripped his throat out. [It was awesome.] My arm's healing, see? [She gestures to the steam leaking from her wounds.] But I heal a lot slower than I used to.

[Steam rises around Carter's fingers and he hazards a glance at it. Clots hold in blood and the flesh is enflamed and hot to the touch. Her heartbeat registers to the touch and her skin is marred with steaming, complicated scar tissue that's healing away. It's a type of regenerating that he's never seen before. ]

Okay... This won't hurt a bit. Just tell me if you, uh, get dizzy.

[Carter breathes out, then inhales and closes his eyes. He thinks about Lily and how she made him feel. Healing her will be easy, Carter thinks. All he has to do is remember how she offered to take him in. She's kind. She's pretty. She's outgoing. She's strange like him. It's easy to summon empathy and with it comes a swell of power.

Carter lowers his head and lays his forehead against the back of her hand. A warmth starts from the point of contact, and with it a soothing, golden shimmer that works its way up her arm. The throbbing ache she feels immediately ceases, and instead Lily can feel a laugh bubbling up in her throat. It's not that she can't feel her arm and all the nerves in it, it's that suddenly loves everything. Even the pain. It's just a wonderful sensation amongst others in the choir of her sensory organs.

The pain is far away. It's not just far away, it's in total perspective. She's so much more than her mangled arm and anyway, that's being taken care of, so why not daydream about something more pleasant? Like maybe Carter standing up and hugging Lily? And then she's hugging all her family at once; everyone she's felt loved by is there and they each swarm around her like glimmering, almost-seen fish. Love bubbles up around her mind and supports her like a gentle bath. She's okay. Everything is okay. She doesn't have to DO anything, she just has to relax and feel okay. And feeling okay doesn't feel selfish, it feels giving because Lily can remember everyone and how she's connected and how she's still connected.

Her arm is healed now, but Carter's eyes are closed and he's concentrating on the feeling of family she shared with him. It's nice to stand there and share with her the relief and happy-sadness that the idea of other special-kid friends means. And then Carter feels her wrist go limp. He snaps his eyes open and darts forward to catch her and barely does. ]

Oh, Jesus. I went too far.

[The relaxation Lily has felt before is now out of control. Before it was pleasant, now it's all-consuming. Lily will be unable to feel her toes, much less walk, for some of the most joyous, happy hours of her life. Carter winces and gently lays Lily on the ground, her head resting on his calf. ]

Aw, fuck. She's in deep.

[And Carter settles in for a long wait while Lily goes off to live in a fantasy world where all her dreams come true.]

[Lily is a million miles away.]

[She's in the past. She and Even are flinging glitter at each other. Mimmi is reading to her. She and B are learning a language. Kage is telling her all about Zeshat. She's meditating with Oogway, she's golfing with Tyler, she's sparring with Erol.]

[B gives her a necklace, Even gives her a ring, Kage gives her a home.]

[She runs into Chase Stein on deck 7.]

[She sees real flowers for the first time.]

[Lily is out for several long hours, and when she comes to, it's... disorienting, to say the least. She opens her eyes slowly, then raises her hand to block out the light from the hallway lamps. Where is she? This isn't deck 13. Hell, this isn't even the Elegante. Where the fuck is she, and what's going on?]

[She sits up, dazed. The feel of her family's embrace is fading fast, and no matter how hard she tries to hold on to it, it slips right through her fingers.]

[Lily doesn't know if this is the best or worst thing to ever happen to her.]

[She looks to Carter, and she doesn't recognize him for a second. But when she does, she smiles shakily.]

Um, was I asleep?

[Carter looks over, then glances away. He smiles a bit, eyes cast away.]

You were in a coma. A vacation. We called it a bliss-out. You go somewhere nice for a few hours.

[He's nervous, but he knows she's okay and her arm will be feeling right as rain. It's unlikely he'll trigger another one so soon, so he hazards a look at her and flashes a smile.]

Did you have a good time?

[Everyone has a good time.]

Um... Yeah.

[Lily raises a hand to slide her fingertip along her collar, then down to touch the locket hanging around her neck. Has she ever opened this...?]

It was amazing. I didn't even know I was out, I felt... [She shakes her head.] I could have stayed there forever.

[Smile.]

It all felt so real.

[Carter nods silently. She was in whatever felt like Heaven to her. Experiencing her best moments over again, or in a more positive fashion, it was a trip to another land where nothing hurt and everything was resolved and perfect.

A utopia. 'Nowhere'.

It's what he can do. Carter smiles faintly.]

Yeah. A blissout. That's what can happen if I look at your face too much, or get too close.

[He pokes his fingers together.]

Ah.

[A blissout, huh. Lily's going to have to keep that in mind. It was absolutely magnificent. And if Carter can do it so easily...]

[A thought sticks out in her mind. Lily looks down at her locket again. She often forgets she even has this. She hasn't taken it off in months. It's become a part of her, in the same way Even's ring is a part of her, too. And yet, she's never opened it.]

[Why? Why hasn't she opened it? On the Shore, she was too anxious to even consider it. She was too preoccupied with organizing the survivors (and trying to survive herself) to dwell on the past. Lily often wondered what B might put in it, but she never...]

[She raises her hands--oh, her arm healed up nicely--and carefully pries open the locket.]

[A few shining gold grains of sand, and a drop of metal.]

[She shuts the locket quickly and grips it in her fist, looking like she's seen a ghost. In just a few seconds, Lily gathers herself, and looks to Carter.]

Wanna continue the tour?

001: [Video]

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