Hey all.

[YAAAAAAWN. Lily only just woke up a few minutes ago! She sounds remarkably okay for someone that was just asleep for six months.]

So, like... apparently it's... December? And I was asleep since... J...une...?

[Pause.]

Super weird.

[Another pause.]

Thaaat meeeans it's almost Christmas! [The cheer is evident in her voice.] Christmas is the best holiday, except for my birthday! [A boat-wide holiday!] We should decorate. We should set up a tree and give presents and be merry!

What does everybody want for Christmas? Santa Lily is on the case!

Santa Lily? Lily Claus?

[Carter is covered in a thick layer of dust, as is the furniture around him. He coughs and a cloud of dust goes flying. ]

How--how long have I been asleep for? I had the weirdest dream... Is housekeeping gonna fix up my room? It's dust city in here.

[He swipes a hand over his hair and a blanket of dust tumbles off and powders around him. He coughs again.]

I've been quiet. I get the p-point. Jesus christo.

Evenin', passengers.

[Here's a voice you don't recognize. And a face too! He smiles into the camera.]

My Captain sends her regards and apologizes for the delay. But we're back on course and headin' full steam on to the Golden Shore.

[Link sounds a bit surprised as he shuffles the device in his hand.]

So apparently it's been seven months? Am I getting that right?

[Seven months on a boat with no way home, it was rather jarring a thought.]

If I am...uhm. Next month is a big celebration for my people. I kind of missed last years...and I'd like to be able to do something, at least, this year.

[It was like having a slice of home, actually. That and it felt wrong not to, even if he knew the person for whom the celebration was about personally.]

I know I don't normally talk on here on anything.

And that I hide away a lot but goddesses there are so many new people....

But I was wondering if anyone was interested in helping me...set up something. It's a big thing to my people and it really feels wrong not to do it. Also it's...kind of like an anniversary for me, I guess.

[An anniversary of when his life became complicated and, yeah, Link shoved those thoughts aside.]

Right. That's all I had to say.

What am I even thinking....

[The audio cuts out with a sigh.]

H-hey, guys! Long time, uh. Long time no se-- chat. Sorry I've been... quiet.

[Ben... you know, he never looks GREAT, but he looks a lot less great than usual. He's got a deep, black bruise on his cheekbone, but it isn't swollen at all... if anything, he looks more gaunt than usual. For a guy that's maybe a hundred and forty pounds sopping wet, it's a little scary. The lights in his room are pretty low, but he's back lit by his porthole window.]

Question for the masses: is, um, i-is everyone feeling all right? I've, uh. Kinda been hiding out because I felt under the weather, but... I thought I'd sleep it off, and it never... really, um. Offed.

I started to think, I, um. You know, hadn't... airwaves've been kinda quiet? And I was worried. Maybe there's something going around, and that's... I dunno. I, I, um. Sorta. I f-fell earlier, and normally I don't bruise, but, uh.

[He gestures at the black patch on his face. He is telling the truth, at least. Mostly.]

If anyone, um. Needs me, I'll-- I'm in the library. Or, will be. Just. Diagnosing.

[He doesn't want to bother poor Kenna and he hasn't heard from Carter, so... off to solve his own problems like the idiot he is! The feed clicks off.

And clicks back on not a minute later.]

...I just realized I've been here seven months? does that mean my birthday's soon? I have to do the math...

GUEEEEEEEEEESS WHAT, GUYS!

[Pause for effect.]

I'm 16 now! I was 16 yesterday, actually! 16 years old! I'm an adult! I mean, I don't know if I'm actually 16, but it sounds right!

I'm at the bar in the Pourhouse if anybody wants to do shots. To celebrate! Like a mini party.

Am I being punished once more? The Sages certainly have gotten creative.

[A pause]

Is there someone listening? Would you kindly tell me where I have ended up?

Man this thing is ancient.

[Beep, beep, beeeeep. She's pressing buttons. Possibly trying to dial a number.]

But there's no service so does it even work?

[She studies it closely and when she finally sees the blinking 'record' light, she realizes oh hey it does work and it's been on this whole time.]

This is so fucking cool. Hello? Is anybody on the other end? I'm Ellie and I'm from the future. If you meet a grumpy old guy named Joel tell him to give me a ring [did they say that back then?] cause this is some weird shit.

Well, good evening, all you ladies out there--and gentlemen, I guess.

[Despite being from The 1990s, Seiya has figured out the communicator pretty quickly. You are treated to a smirking teenaged boy--girl? It's hard to tell. They are EXTREMELY androgynous.]

Would any of you lovely people care to tell me where I am? I know I party hard, but it's not usually so hard that I forget what I'm doing from one second to the next. And this place doesn't look familiar.

I'm SURE you know I'd love to spend all the time in the world with you, but...as an idol, I have a busy schedule to get back to. As you probably already know.

[Seiya has the charm turned to 11.]

So, please, let me know if you can help me get back to Tokyo. I have a concert this weekend and Taiki's gonna kill me if I'm late to rehearsals again, you know?

So after that...mess...at Valentine's day, and those "treats" at Halloween, is anyone else developing a serious complex about food around here?

Like, never mind where it comes from in the first place

(but seriously, where does it come from)

But the fact that the last bit of candy I ate made me develop some pretty damn powerful feelings about my t-shirt...

Yeah.

I've got some trust issues.