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001: [Video]

[Carter turns the camera on and it broadcasts. He doesn't know it's doing this, as he thinks he's just filming a video of himself.]

Entry one. Title: This Place is Fucked Up. Did I mention it's fucked up? Exhibit A, the bathroom--

[Carter swings the camera around and shows the bathroom, which has a wall of shrunken heads. Their eyes roll and they cackle when they see the camera. Carter backs out of the bathroom and closes the door.]

Can you believe that? My door is unlocked, too. What amateur kidnappers. Where's Reefs? He's gonna kill all of you. He's a hard motherfucker. Anytime now. Hey, do you see that?

[The camera flips around to show a Nameless, its mouth stitched shut and carrying a stack of laundry. It passes by the open door to Carter's suite. The teen gasps audibly.]

That guy had a sewn mouth! What the fuck! What the fuck! That is some fucked up Somali-pirate shit!

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Oh, it's not so bad. It's pretty nice! The beds are comfy, and there's lots of food, annnd... there's a giant library! And a golf course, and an aquarium, and a garden... [She shrugs, her smile unwavering.] Could be a lot worse!

[She tilts her head, curious.]

What do you mean, "special kids?"

[So it's a nice cage. He sighs and runs his hand through his hair. It could be worse. There are at least kids his age here. Well, maybe a little younger. Who cares? It's not all adults and handlers.]

I've never golfed before...

[He's trying to find the positive in this. Or just make sense of this at all.]

You know, the kids where weird stuff happens around us. That kinda stuff. What happens around you? I do healing.

[Oh, he means powers! Lily understands completely. Are powers normal where he comes from? Or, at least, not unheard of?]

Oh, um--I regenerate. And I'm really strong and fast. What kinda healing do you do?

[He perks visibly when she says she regenerates.]

And you're strong and fast? Wow, you must be really valuable.

[Carter hesitantly offers a smile. She seems nice so far, and he assumes she's a kept teenager like he is; under the thumb of her handler.]

So, uh, who's in charge here? Am I allowed to leave my room?

[All her handlers are dead or gone.]

Captain Rowe, and yes. You can go anywhere and do anything! 'Cept the crew says deck 10 is dangerous, so... don't go there, I guess.

[Carter wouldn't know how to feel if he knew that. On one hand, he hates handlers. On the other hand, they're often the only company special kids get. It's a tough situation.]

I don't get it. What's the point of this boat? We're just supposed to wander around while Captain Rowe takes us to this Golden Shore?

[In a way, it sounds almost too good to be true.]

Yup! That's the point.

[What a strange kid. Why is it so weird to him that they're allowed to wander around? Lily remembers that feeling, actually. Her world was pretty limited back in the Deep Underground.]

D'you want me to show you around?

[Carter hasn't been allowed to walk around the block un-handled. The most freedom he gets is walking to the bathroom on his own, and he has a GPS locator in his phone. It's pointless, because Carter has given up trying to run away. They just catch him again, every time.]

In person? I dunno.

[Carter is suddenly hesitant. But Lily is a special kid, like him. He can afford to tell her the truth.]

I'm a resplendent regenerist, so...

[He leaves that hanging. She will demure out of showing him around, he's sure. It's like saying "and I have the plague."]

[She smiles, averting her eyes for a second before looking back to him. She... is she supposed to know what that means? Maybe back in his world.]

I dunno what that means. But it'll probably be fine!

[She wants to meet. That's fine. She doesn't know him, and she's tough. He'll avoid eye contact.]

I'm just... a little awkward in real life. Okay? I'm in room 426.

That's okay! I'll be right there.

[Lily hangs up. She pauses to make sure her sling is snug (and to spend a few minutes trying to put shoes on with one hand, which she quickly finds is not easy), then jogs all the way up to deck 4. She finds room 426 easily and knock-knock-knocks on the door.]

Carrr-ter? It's Lily!

[Carter went to the bathroom in the meantime, washed his hands and face and tried to ignore the cackling heads on the wall. This was reality. He needed to accept reality. He was on a ship with a lot of powered people, and he was going to have to survive. No handlers meant no rules.

So this was like prison, right? He had to be tough.

Carter felt ill.

He cupped his hands beneath the sink and drank a few handfuls of water until he heard a knock on the door and a familiar voice. Lily!]

Coming!

[Carter dries his hands on the legs of his pants and walks over too quickly. He tempers his enthusiasm and sets his eyes down. Be calm. No blissouts. Just be neutral and turn your feelings off.

Carter opens the door and smiles, avoiding eye contact.]

Hey. Uh, I'm gonna act a little distant? I don't get the feeling it's safe to sleep in the halls here.

[Lily blinks, tilting her head in confusion like a puppy. Sleep in the halls? Why would anyone do that? Maybe people slept in the hall where Carter comes from. Wouldn't be the weirdest thing Lily's ever heard.]

Sleep in the halls?

[She doesn't get it.]

If I look you in the eyes too much or see your face too much, or if you're too nice, I might make you go to, uh, something like sleep.

[He doesn't want to explain the blissouts.]

Pretend you're showing a group around. Don't look at me too much, talk to the air. It's weird, I know. I can't turn my healing comas off, basically.

[He winces.]

Oh.

[He can make people sleep? Weird. Lily frowns, brushing hair behind her ear. She doesn't know if she can just... treat him like a group. He sounds so lonely. And awkward.]

[She's just gonna be nice anyway.]

Uh, okay! So, um... deck 4 and 5 are residential. [She learned that word from her reading!] I'm on deck 5 in room 522 if you ever wanna visit! Oh, I'm in the library a lot, too. The library is great! It's really big, and it has books on, like, everything. I've been researching my dad's-- [This is off-topic.] Nevermind. Uh! On the top deck, there's a golf course, and there's an infirmary on deck 3...

[He takes a few glances at her out of the corner of his eye while she's not looking. She's blonde, pretty, and younger than him. She acts older than her age, he guesses. Girls are like that.

Carter stuffs his hands in his pockets and follows her, rubbernecking at all the sights.

The mention of her dad--]

You have a dad?

[He's never met another special kid with actual parents.]

[Well, he's not wrong. Lily, quite literally, has no parents. She wasn't born, she was farmed.]

Kind of! It's a really, reeeally long story. [Nearly three years long. Hell, she's never told the whole story before...] He's, um... not here right now. Not dead. Just... not here.

[Lily glances up at Carter.]

Do you have a family?

[Carter shakes his head tersely and risks a look up at her from under his hair.]

No, I just had handlers. You know, like other special kids. 'Cause we're too important to be wasted, that kinda crap.

[His eyes are very cold and empty. He know damn well he's just a tool to his government. He glances at Lily, and some warmth comes back.]

Just handlers. But you have a dad, that's great! I'm sure he'll come back.

[He flashes her a smile, then looks down at the floor again and wills himself to feel more neutrally. ]

[Handlers. Lily fucking hates that word. The scientists back home, they were "handlers," like she was a goddamn animal. Her heart goes out to Carter, having experienced something, uh, similar to what she did.]

[At least she had her brothers and sisters back home. Sounds to her like Carter has nobody.]

[She brightens.]

I can be your family, then! I have a brother here, he's great... And I have my friend Mimmi, and Oogway, and Ben, and Geralt, and Link... They're all great! You'll love them.

[She's offering to be his family? She barely knows him. It's remarkably kind, and he looks up in surprise to see if she's serious. Her face says she is, and automatically his eyes look at hers. She's got red eyes, bright red. They stick in his mind and that's a problem because the easier he can picture her, the easier he can target her with his powers, the closer they both get to a slipup.

But he can't help but smile. That's a long list of names. ]

I'll know them over the videos. Is this place your home?

[Carter's brow furrows as he speaks to his runners, consciously not looking at Lily.]

Are there--

[He scratches his forehead. Carter just can't understand it.]

--Really no handlers here? Except the crew?

Yes! This is my home now. Before this I was on an island, and before that I was on another boat, and before that I was, um... I dunno where I was, exactly. That's not important.

[It's incredibly important! But not now. She stops walking and turns to him fully.]

Can you explain this whole "handler" thing to me?

Handlers are--I guess not, if you don't know. You're supposed to be with a handler whenever your door's unlocked. They tell you--a lot of stuff. They tell you what matters and what you have to do. They protect you, too, I guess. You just do what they say.

[He leaves off the 'or else' and again, avoids her eye contact. She's definitely older than she looks. ]

If someone who calls themselves a handler shows up, uh, don't trust them. What they say is never what's really going on.

...

[...]

Are you fucking kidding me?

[That sounds like the absolute worst. There was a time when Lily would blindly believe everything she was told, but that was several years ago. She quickly learned that nothing was ever as it seemed, and there would always be someone around to explain any incidents.]

[What they said was rarely the whole truth.]

[Lily sighs, smiles, and reaches out tentatively to touch Carter's arm with her good hand.]

You're never gonna have to listen to a handler again. Ever. You're free.

[She's touching him.

She's touching him. People don't just touch Carter. He stares at the hand on his arm. It's pale and white and the nails are smaller and more delicate than the nails on his own hand.

Lily is so nice. She's probably the nicest girl he's ever met in real life in his entire life, and Carter sucks in a breath as tears well up in his eyes. And she offered to make him family.]

Oh, jeeze.

[He wipes at his eyes. He's a fucking crying baby, but he can't help it. He's feeling so kindly towards Lily that if he looks in her eyes now, he knows he'll send her into a coma. But he doesn't mind. Carter would do it now and watch her body for hours, just as a favour.

He reaches up and covers her hand with his own for a second, staring at the ground and feeling tenderness in him. He has to be careful now not to bliss her out. Avoid her eyes. Stay a little disengaged. Carter drops his hand.

It's too hard, though. He has to disengage. Carter tries to think of something distressing. Killing. Death. Kids starving in Africa.]

I need a second.

[His voice is strangled.

Kids starving in Africa. Villages drinking dirty water. Seagulls eating trashbags. Birds with broken wings. Dead dogs. Carter stares at the wall and tries to think of unpleasant things, because if he looks at Lily right now? Game over. She's too nice. It was too risky meeting her in person.]

[Oh holy shit he's crying. Was it something she said? Of course it's something she said. Are these happy tears? They'd better be. They look happy. When Lily fully understood that she was free, she cried, too. She cried a lot. It was the best feeling in the world. No more murder and mayhem. Just Lily, her little family, and a magic cruise ship.]

[She waits patiently for him to gather himself.]

Um, do you want a hug? I still have an arm that works.

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