recommence | 001: [Video]

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001: [Video]

[Carter turns the camera on and it broadcasts. He doesn't know it's doing this, as he thinks he's just filming a video of himself.]

Entry one. Title: This Place is Fucked Up. Did I mention it's fucked up? Exhibit A, the bathroom--

[Carter swings the camera around and shows the bathroom, which has a wall of shrunken heads. Their eyes roll and they cackle when they see the camera. Carter backs out of the bathroom and closes the door.]

Can you believe that? My door is unlocked, too. What amateur kidnappers. Where's Reefs? He's gonna kill all of you. He's a hard motherfucker. Anytime now. Hey, do you see that?

[The camera flips around to show a Nameless, its mouth stitched shut and carrying a stack of laundry. It passes by the open door to Carter's suite. The teen gasps audibly.]

That guy had a sewn mouth! What the fuck! What the fuck! That is some fucked up Somali-pirate shit!

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[Well this guy sure is entertaining!]

Those guys probably won't hurt you. Or look at you. Or acknowledge your existence.

[A little icon pops up indicating there's a reply. Carter watches Lily speak in shock. There are other people here! And he was broadcasting to them! Whoops-se-fucker-doodle. Carter thinks a minute before replying.]

So you, uh, know what's going on, huh?

Yup! You're on the Black Tide, and we're headed for the Golden Shore. [She smiles and waves with her good hand.] Also, hi, I'm Lily.

I'm Carter. So we're all, uh, you know. Special kids. And they're shipping us off somewhere. Great.

[Carter sits down on his bed. Reefs did what he'd been threatening to do for years and just ship him off to be someone else's property and problem. He didn't even say goodbye. That hurt. Carter's mouth twists in a frown.]

That's just great. But why a fucked up ship?

Oh, it's not so bad. It's pretty nice! The beds are comfy, and there's lots of food, annnd... there's a giant library! And a golf course, and an aquarium, and a garden... [She shrugs, her smile unwavering.] Could be a lot worse!

[She tilts her head, curious.]

What do you mean, "special kids?"

[So it's a nice cage. He sighs and runs his hand through his hair. It could be worse. There are at least kids his age here. Well, maybe a little younger. Who cares? It's not all adults and handlers.]

I've never golfed before...

[He's trying to find the positive in this. Or just make sense of this at all.]

You know, the kids where weird stuff happens around us. That kinda stuff. What happens around you? I do healing.

[Oh, he means powers! Lily understands completely. Are powers normal where he comes from? Or, at least, not unheard of?]

Oh, um--I regenerate. And I'm really strong and fast. What kinda healing do you do?

[He perks visibly when she says she regenerates.]

And you're strong and fast? Wow, you must be really valuable.

[Carter hesitantly offers a smile. She seems nice so far, and he assumes she's a kept teenager like he is; under the thumb of her handler.]

So, uh, who's in charge here? Am I allowed to leave my room?

[All her handlers are dead or gone.]

Captain Rowe, and yes. You can go anywhere and do anything! 'Cept the crew says deck 10 is dangerous, so... don't go there, I guess.

[Carter wouldn't know how to feel if he knew that. On one hand, he hates handlers. On the other hand, they're often the only company special kids get. It's a tough situation.]

I don't get it. What's the point of this boat? We're just supposed to wander around while Captain Rowe takes us to this Golden Shore?

[In a way, it sounds almost too good to be true.]

Yup! That's the point.

[What a strange kid. Why is it so weird to him that they're allowed to wander around? Lily remembers that feeling, actually. Her world was pretty limited back in the Deep Underground.]

D'you want me to show you around?

[Carter hasn't been allowed to walk around the block un-handled. The most freedom he gets is walking to the bathroom on his own, and he has a GPS locator in his phone. It's pointless, because Carter has given up trying to run away. They just catch him again, every time.]

In person? I dunno.

[Carter is suddenly hesitant. But Lily is a special kid, like him. He can afford to tell her the truth.]

I'm a resplendent regenerist, so...

[He leaves that hanging. She will demure out of showing him around, he's sure. It's like saying "and I have the plague."]

[She smiles, averting her eyes for a second before looking back to him. She... is she supposed to know what that means? Maybe back in his world.]

I dunno what that means. But it'll probably be fine!

[She wants to meet. That's fine. She doesn't know him, and she's tough. He'll avoid eye contact.]

I'm just... a little awkward in real life. Okay? I'm in room 426.

That's okay! I'll be right there.

[Lily hangs up. She pauses to make sure her sling is snug (and to spend a few minutes trying to put shoes on with one hand, which she quickly finds is not easy), then jogs all the way up to deck 4. She finds room 426 easily and knock-knock-knocks on the door.]

Carrr-ter? It's Lily!

[Carter went to the bathroom in the meantime, washed his hands and face and tried to ignore the cackling heads on the wall. This was reality. He needed to accept reality. He was on a ship with a lot of powered people, and he was going to have to survive. No handlers meant no rules.

So this was like prison, right? He had to be tough.

Carter felt ill.

He cupped his hands beneath the sink and drank a few handfuls of water until he heard a knock on the door and a familiar voice. Lily!]

Coming!

[Carter dries his hands on the legs of his pants and walks over too quickly. He tempers his enthusiasm and sets his eyes down. Be calm. No blissouts. Just be neutral and turn your feelings off.

Carter opens the door and smiles, avoiding eye contact.]

Hey. Uh, I'm gonna act a little distant? I don't get the feeling it's safe to sleep in the halls here.

[Lily blinks, tilting her head in confusion like a puppy. Sleep in the halls? Why would anyone do that? Maybe people slept in the hall where Carter comes from. Wouldn't be the weirdest thing Lily's ever heard.]

Sleep in the halls?

[She doesn't get it.]

If I look you in the eyes too much or see your face too much, or if you're too nice, I might make you go to, uh, something like sleep.

[He doesn't want to explain the blissouts.]

Pretend you're showing a group around. Don't look at me too much, talk to the air. It's weird, I know. I can't turn my healing comas off, basically.

[He winces.]

Oh.

[He can make people sleep? Weird. Lily frowns, brushing hair behind her ear. She doesn't know if she can just... treat him like a group. He sounds so lonely. And awkward.]

[She's just gonna be nice anyway.]

Uh, okay! So, um... deck 4 and 5 are residential. [She learned that word from her reading!] I'm on deck 5 in room 522 if you ever wanna visit! Oh, I'm in the library a lot, too. The library is great! It's really big, and it has books on, like, everything. I've been researching my dad's-- [This is off-topic.] Nevermind. Uh! On the top deck, there's a golf course, and there's an infirmary on deck 3...

[He takes a few glances at her out of the corner of his eye while she's not looking. She's blonde, pretty, and younger than him. She acts older than her age, he guesses. Girls are like that.

Carter stuffs his hands in his pockets and follows her, rubbernecking at all the sights.

The mention of her dad--]

You have a dad?

[He's never met another special kid with actual parents.]

[Well, he's not wrong. Lily, quite literally, has no parents. She wasn't born, she was farmed.]

Kind of! It's a really, reeeally long story. [Nearly three years long. Hell, she's never told the whole story before...] He's, um... not here right now. Not dead. Just... not here.

[Lily glances up at Carter.]

Do you have a family?

[Carter shakes his head tersely and risks a look up at her from under his hair.]

No, I just had handlers. You know, like other special kids. 'Cause we're too important to be wasted, that kinda crap.

[His eyes are very cold and empty. He know damn well he's just a tool to his government. He glances at Lily, and some warmth comes back.]

Just handlers. But you have a dad, that's great! I'm sure he'll come back.

[He flashes her a smile, then looks down at the floor again and wills himself to feel more neutrally. ]

[Handlers. Lily fucking hates that word. The scientists back home, they were "handlers," like she was a goddamn animal. Her heart goes out to Carter, having experienced something, uh, similar to what she did.]

[At least she had her brothers and sisters back home. Sounds to her like Carter has nobody.]

[She brightens.]

I can be your family, then! I have a brother here, he's great... And I have my friend Mimmi, and Oogway, and Ben, and Geralt, and Link... They're all great! You'll love them.

[She's offering to be his family? She barely knows him. It's remarkably kind, and he looks up in surprise to see if she's serious. Her face says she is, and automatically his eyes look at hers. She's got red eyes, bright red. They stick in his mind and that's a problem because the easier he can picture her, the easier he can target her with his powers, the closer they both get to a slipup.

But he can't help but smile. That's a long list of names. ]

I'll know them over the videos. Is this place your home?

[Carter's brow furrows as he speaks to his runners, consciously not looking at Lily.]

Are there--

[He scratches his forehead. Carter just can't understand it.]

--Really no handlers here? Except the crew?

Yes! This is my home now. Before this I was on an island, and before that I was on another boat, and before that I was, um... I dunno where I was, exactly. That's not important.

[It's incredibly important! But not now. She stops walking and turns to him fully.]

Can you explain this whole "handler" thing to me?

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